Sort of Like an O. Henry Story, but with Vodka
I came home to a present on my doorstep: a present of vodka. The best kind of gift! It's possibly the ghetto-est acquisition of vodka ever, and here is the story:
Barista X needed a bottle of vodka as a prop in a play she's stage directing. Apparently, drunk actors aren't desirable, although I was under the impression that all actors were drunk all the time, but whatever. Barista X needed to dispose of the vodka and fill her bottle/prop with water.
Barista Y was aghast at such a blatant waste of vodka. Sort of a Cheap Woman himself (or a Lad in Favor of Fiscal Responsibility, as I think he called it), Barista Y immediately set out to save said vodka. Milk pitchers, Starbucks cups and Caramel Sauce squeeze bottles seemed to be the only materials at hand. In a stroke of genius, or luck (or whatever), Barista Y noticed that the Melon Syrup bottle was almost empty and needed to be changed and discarded. Voila! Melon Vodka a la Barista Y.
Barista Y saved the vodka, decanted it into a somewhat sketchy old Tupperware container and left it on my doorstep (metaphorically ... real doorsteps are for people who pay more for their apartments than I do) with an accompanying text message about "a nice surprise outside your door."
Will I drink melon flavored vodka that I found on the floor outside my apartment in an ill-sealed Tupperware container? Yes. Yes I will. And that, my friends, is what being a Cheap Woman is all about.
SHOUT OUTS
Chris ... for the pizza.
Jenn ... for the Sprite and PBR
Jimmy ... for the vodka (so much for your secret identity)
Barista X needed a bottle of vodka as a prop in a play she's stage directing. Apparently, drunk actors aren't desirable, although I was under the impression that all actors were drunk all the time, but whatever. Barista X needed to dispose of the vodka and fill her bottle/prop with water.
Barista Y was aghast at such a blatant waste of vodka. Sort of a Cheap Woman himself (or a Lad in Favor of Fiscal Responsibility, as I think he called it), Barista Y immediately set out to save said vodka. Milk pitchers, Starbucks cups and Caramel Sauce squeeze bottles seemed to be the only materials at hand. In a stroke of genius, or luck (or whatever), Barista Y noticed that the Melon Syrup bottle was almost empty and needed to be changed and discarded. Voila! Melon Vodka a la Barista Y.
Barista Y saved the vodka, decanted it into a somewhat sketchy old Tupperware container and left it on my doorstep (metaphorically ... real doorsteps are for people who pay more for their apartments than I do) with an accompanying text message about "a nice surprise outside your door."
Will I drink melon flavored vodka that I found on the floor outside my apartment in an ill-sealed Tupperware container? Yes. Yes I will. And that, my friends, is what being a Cheap Woman is all about.
SHOUT OUTS
Chris ... for the pizza.
Jenn ... for the Sprite and PBR
Jimmy ... for the vodka (so much for your secret identity)
5 Comments:
vodka ;-)
Oh, I thought this story had something to do with my friend Henry...I'm a little disappointed.
i have a friend named carrie on goodreads.com. is it you, merritt, or an imposter?
Carrie,
Firstly, thank you for the shout... it is well deserved on my part.
Secondly, I noticed at Bottletree the other night that you sneaked in liquor to spike your soda instead of paying for it. You are not only cheap; you are now vilanious as well. I can not condone illegal activity, even for the sake of your poverty.
Thirdly, could you make an annoncement at work that I am not to be charged for drinks. I had to pay today and I was quite put out.
Chris
Chris,
I am assuming you are joking?! Firstly, Carrie and Anna made dinner for CG for like 2 years.
Secondly,
She is not villianous...that is not against the law...it is just frowned upon.
Thirdly,
How is what you are doing different from sneaking in free drinks? Carrie is just being more honest, she is sneaking. You are pretending that it is ok by using your friendship to get free things.
Again, I am assuming you were joking about this...but just in case, these are my contentions.
Have a great day!
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